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1. 2001 Personal Account: Horsing Around
I was the emergency room physician at a small rural hospital in Ohio, when a man in his early thirties signed in. He refused to tell the nurse what was wrong. 'Something private to discuss with the doctor' usually means
Relevance: 100%
5.7 KB
2. 2009 Honorable Mention: Single Bud Vase
MEDICAL REPORT: I was a nurse on a busy surgical unit, and I received a report that a young patient was arriving with 'severe penile lacerations.' I could not imagine what this poor lad had done to injure himself. T
Relevance: 100%
5.5 KB
3. 2010 Honorable Mention: Pipe Cleaner
January 2010, UK | Oh dear. Yet another man has got his hoo haw stuck in a pipe, taking many delicate maneuvers with a blow torch and metal grinder to cut him loose from the steel, might as well say it, iron maiden...
Relevance: 100%
5.4 KB
4. 2005 Personal Account: Captain Magneto
During my days in the Canadian Air Force I worked at the Gliding School instructing cadets. A magneto uses magnets to produce a powerful high-voltage electric current to fire the starters of an aircraft. One night w
Relevance: 98.5%
5.7 KB
5. 2008 Honorable Mention: Battered Sausage
Our young hero, accompanied by his concerned young girlfriend, sought professional medical advice. Upon entering the examination room, the young man gingerly lowered his pants and asked for advice...
Relevance: 98.5%
6 KB
6. 2017 Darwin Award: Pistol Of Justice
'Divine punishment,' said the judge, deciding not to impose jail time on a man who shot himself in the testicles while carrying an illegal weapon in his waistband...
Relevance: 97.1%
6.7 KB
7. Honorable Mention: Joking A Round
Michigan | Four friends were driving to Indiana when Leslie, 22, grabbed a gun from her friend. Leslie pointed the gun at her crotch...
Relevance: 95.6%
8.4 KB
8. 2007 Honorable Mention: Red Hot Chili Peppers
One day, in the kitchen at the local prison, an inmate stole a bag of jalepeno peppers in juice. Kitchen work is coveted by inmates because of these fringe benefits...
Relevance: 94.2%
8.5 KB
9. 2018 Darwin Award: A Gun Named 'Lorena'
The Buckeye Police Department reports that a man accidentally shot his own sausage while shopping in the meat aisle at Walmart. Arizona law does not require a permit to carry a firearm, so o
Relevance: 94.2%
6.7 KB
10. 2009 Urban Legend: Bitter Biter Bit a Nitwit
'A raging raccoon has bitten off a pervert's penis as he was trying to rape the animal,' screams the headline. When most of us see a wild animal, raping it never enters our minds. Why would anyone...? A
Relevance: 94.2%
7.1 KB
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