||1994 Darwin Award: Short Circuit
Michael Anderson Godwin was a lucky murderer whose death sentence had been commuted to life in prison. Ironically, he was sitting on the metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix the TV set when he bit down on a
||2009 Darwin Award: Dying To Go
Traffic was moving slowly on southbound I-95. Shawn Montero had left a Pompano Beach bar with three friends, and now all four were stuck in traffic. You don't buy beer, you just rent it, and Shawn couldn't wait
||2007 Darwin Award WINNER: The Enema Within
Texas | Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor, well, rectally. His wife said he was 'addicted to enemas' and often imbibed alcohol in this manner...
||At-Risk Survivor: Mexican Divorce
Mexico | I was travelling in Mexico with my then wife. We were in a VW van equipped with a potty to provide for our fussy American preference for sanitation and privacy. My wife and I had been quibbling all day...
||1999 Urban Legend: Man Glued to Rhino Buttocks
A Vermont native found himself in a difficult position yesterday while touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari Zoo with a group of thespians from St. Petersburg, Russia. Ronald went to extremes to demonstrate the power of Crazy Glue, one of America's many marvels, to the Russians. To prove the
||2014 Darwin Award: Pool Party
In the small town of Karczˇwka tragedy struck yesterday as seven people accidentally drowned in a cesspool, one after another. The first death was that of a tractor driver whose job was to empty the septic tank...
||2009 At-Risk Survivor: Down In The Dumps
During the scrape and resurface of a large residential street in Edinburgh, it was noticed that a large foul sewer ran down the street. As it was belived to be quite shallow, it was necessary to determine its exac
||1999 At-Risk Survivor: Stupid Criminal Tricks
These are random snippets collected from emails over the past decade. Their origins and veracity are unknown. Seattle: When a man attempted to siphon gasoline
||1998 Urban Legend: Constipated Elephant
Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly -- and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was